Why is “how do I move to Canada?”becoming a popular search by Americans. And more thoughts about anger.

 

I’ve been around for a few elections.  Eligible to vote for the Bush era, Clinton era, Bush era, Obama, and now the Clinton/Bush (until recently) era all over again.  Heck I still remember my first election, I voted absentee ballad and my candidate, Ross Perot did not win.  Hey, I was in college!  We are all experimenting.  I do remember it be incredibly exciting and a privilege to be able to vote in our country.  At a young age, the realization that women fought for my right to vote was never lost on me.  This year, I am saddened by the tone the election has taken.  Now, before anyone says “this is politics, this is the way it has always been….”, I did state this isn’t my FIRST rodeo, and much to the chagrin of many, I have a great memory and I’ve never seen something like this year’s election process.

Over the years my views, my concerns and political leanings have changed, and while it would be a safe guess purely by my education and profession as a female clinical social worker to think I’m most certainly a democrat, hope you didn’t bet money as it isn’t that simple, and with all the flip flopping candidates do, I’m not even sure I have a categorical box I can check this year, or any year.

My push to write on this subject has far less to do with politics per say and much more to do with the tone to which candidates are campaigning this year.  I grew up in an era of “Do on to others as you would have them do on to you” or “Love one another as I have loved you” or “It is better to be kind, than right” or “Be kinder than necessary for everyone is facing some sort of battle.” I am perplexed.  Am I the only one who remembers these “golden rules” of sorts (well, one actually is the “golden rule”….but that’s not my point) ….how have we gotten so off track with one another?

I love our country, and for many reasons I have long believed we are the greatest country on Earth.  Not that we could be, or we used to be, but we are the greatest country on Earth.  I am sure there are many people from England, or Finland, or Thailand or Costa Rica or…..wherever who also believe their country to be the best.  However, I am concerned how the impact of a culture that tolerates and promotes hostility, anger, insults, name calling….all the things I was taught and have taught my own children to be inherently wrong to now be encouraged, as long as the end result is “your candidate, your opinion, your views” are heard or accepted or acknowledged.  As if winning is all that matters.  Even as I write those words, I am sure there is someone, somewhere saying “um, yes it is!”….but he/she probably isn’t reading my blog on peace in the journey…..

Clients, friends and some family will ask me if I ever get angry.  My immediate family I am sure sees me slightly differently than others, but largely I don’t react to anger in a hostile manner.  I don’t write nasty Facebook posts on companies I’m unhappy with for whatever valid reason I may have, I don’t try to belittle others so that I look better, I don’t choose to argue for the sake of arguing, or really at all…..and I really try to get others to see why choosing to engage in any of the above does far more damage to you than the person/persons/institutions/organizations….to whom you are angry.

I have heard this quote in variation by many people, may be Mark Twain didn’t even write it….. but the message remains solid.  When we hold on to anger, we are hurting ourselves. When venom comes from our mouth and our beings, venom is what comes back to us in our lives.  When we let go of the poison: friends, family, relationships, expectations, disappointments, hurts….we are free. Free to let in love, free to work with others, free to see not only our own potential but the potential of others around us.

• May be it means letting go of toxic relationships…..so what?  If they are toxic, why are you still holding on to them?
• May be it means letting go of disappointments from others….so what?  People are inherently flawed, and I presume most do their best in life, but cannot help falling short now and again, so why are we demonizing forever when this is in truth part of the human condition?
• May be it means letting go of expectations….so what?  I find my own life challenging enough, TRULY, I am astonished people have so much time to be concerned with other people’s lives when I can hardly manage my own.  What are you not wanting to face in your own life that you find it more appealing to focus on other people’s decisions?

I have been writing and rewriting and rewriting the end to this blog, and can’t seem to sum up what I want to say….other than this.

Peace and happiness can never be achieved through hate or venom or negativity or anger.  Never.  If you want to be happy…..it is time we all take individual responsibility rather than expecting someone else to fulfill this for us. If negativity is following you around, may be you need to check to see who the common denominator is in the scenarios surrounding you.  And I mean that with all the love in my heart for humankind.  I teach people to find peace and happiness in life….through mind, body, spirit and service to others.  But no where in my program is there room for hate, or anger, or negativity.  If you or someone you know is searching….I can show you the way……

sign up to read my blog every week at http://www.peaceinthejourney.wordpress.com or if you want a more focused approach, sign up for the upcoming program http://www.strongpeacefulwomen.com

Or at least write wordy blog posts to point you in the direction……

We could start a revolution…..one of peace and happiness…or….What type of revolution do you want to stand behind for ALL of humankind?

Sending all of you peace…..and happiness….

 

 

 

 

 

Enlightenment? More than coming out of the darkness.

 

Do you ever have themes recur in your life?  Words.  Phrases. Thoughts.  Images.

Enlightenment has been my theme lately.  In discussion with a friend, on the recurrence of this theme and it’s meaning, I suggested enlightenment comes both with age and experience, much like wisdom.  May be it’s a pay off for the aging process that can be less than kind at times?

I recalled being in my early 20s, working as a social worker with families in their homes.  My clients all had multiple presenting issues including but not limited to neglect, allegations of abuse, socioeconomic disparities, and …the list goes on.  I was a 20something, white, tiny female who grew up in the suburbs and went to a private college.  I had no children, wasn’t married, and certainly had very little “life” experience to offer families I was paid to serve.  When I recall those days, I feel humbled thinking how generous they were in accepting what pitiful advice I had to offer them.  I think of some of my most challenging families, wondering if I had the opportunity to work with them now, what advice or tools or techniques or skills could I offer?

I’m going to be 45, soon.  Not soon in some abstract sense but soon as in a few months!  I feel like I look pretty decent for what “45” is in my mind, and have in my lifetime made efforts to take care of this one earthly body I have been given.  I am also proud of the years of experience I have on this planet.

• I know through my nearly 45 years I’ve loved deeply and hurt deeply from loss of loved ones, thus I feel I am empathic in working with others who are hurting, regardless of reason.  True love for another living being is eternal and universal.  It’s spiritual, for me, more than emotional.  It’s something I do, not something I feel.
• I’ve worked really hard to get my Master’s Degree and to become a clinical social worker, and value what it takes to achieve a goal.  I continue to work to eliminate “I can’t” from my vocabulary and encourage others to do so.  We never know what we are capable of in life, until we push beyond our limits.  Now…that does not mean I will ever swim with sharks, there is a difference between “I can’t” and “I won’t”….. C’mon!
• I’ve learned to let go of my attachments to things.  Car.  House.  Clothing.  Shoes (ok, may be shoes are an exception.) Things can always be replaced.  And shouldn’t define who we are.  EVER.  It makes you no less or more valuable because you can purchase what you want in life, rather than what you need.  While we may want many things in life, I’ve found focusing on what I need serves me better at keeping me humble, and making me feel appreciative of all that I don’t “need” in life.  There’s always, always, always someone worse off……so in times of despair, I try to remember…..
• 

• I believe in the power of prayer, the benefits of a positive attitude, the peace found in meditation and the energy found through listening to a child giggle or a conversation with a dog.  While there are many things in life we cannot control, every single one of these costs me NOTHING yet is PRICELESS.
• I assert all people are flawed.  We accept them, or we don’t.  That simple.

I so wish I would’ve known what I do at almost 45, at 22.  But like wisdom, for me, enlightenment has come through letting go of what I thought to be true and allowing what might be to shine through.  It’s spending time contemplating life and death, and realizing how small we all really are in life.  It’s reaching out, and centering within.  It’s realizing some may choose to not want to be my friend, my “Facebook” friend, my …….and at nearly 45 I’m more than ok with it, I surround myself with people I love and love enough to let go of those I need to in life so we both can grow.

It’s finding peace in one’s journey……for me, that’s all it has ever been.  Tomorrow is not guaranteed, for any of us.  Why do we think it is? It makes today matter, but not in an OMG I better start checking off my bucket list sort of attitude.  Really, who could sustain that energy?  It’s a “don’t waste time on stuff or people or things or ….that doesn’t bring you happiness” every. single. time. you have control over choosing. Key- every time you have the choice.  Clearly there are work meetings or family/friend obligations we’d rather not attend, but our life does necessitate we go anyway.  However, when given a choice….do you want to spend time in the rat race of life…..or on living a life filled with peace and happiness?

Wishing you peace..and happiness in your journey today, and always…..wherever that road may take you today or tomorrow or ……and if you spent time reading and thinking about my words until the very end today, I am grateful.

Peace…….