An open letter on Gun Control

Are you a gun owner?  This blog might make you angry and for the first time in a long time, I really don’t care who I offend.  The truth is I have been silent for far too long, so many of us have been, and sitting in complacency allows bad things-tragedies-horrors-mass murders to continue to happen in our world.

Sunday night, my family watched a Netflix documentary on the Boston Marathon Bombing.  It was emotional, seemingly more so than I had anticipated.  My husband & I have both run multiple marathons, and he has run Boston 2x.  That year, he didn’t.  My best friend did, however & I was terrified.  Watchign the video from that day brought it all back, and I thank God every day that my family was ok, and my best frined was not injured or killed.  Others…. were not so lucky/blessed.  I remember going to bed Sunday night thinking, Thank God nothing like this has happened in a while (as I write that, I am totally aware having a standard of “in awhile” is absolutely pathetic and intolerable and unacceptable but that is what went through my mind, that is where we are as a world) …. and then Monday morning I woke up with a text saying “did you hear about Vegas?”

What is going on? 

Are you a gun owner?  Why do you own them?  Do you hunt?  Do you need multiple guns to do that?  Do you need 1000s of rounds of ammo to do hunt?  Do you need semi automatic weapons to hunt?  What is it with the guns that you are willing to allow this to continue for your “right” to “own guns”?  I don’t understand and really, am trying to do so….

It isn’t enough to get involved when you are actually personally affected by violence anymore.  We are ALL affected.  If you go to concerts, church, cafe, clubs, marathons, peaceful protests, school….as I have done ALL of them too…we are all affected.  Vegas.  I could’ve been one in that crowd.  My kids could’ve.  It could’ve been YOU.  Or your kids.  Or your wife or husband or daughter or son or parent or….. is that when you STEP UP?

I cannot imagine this was our Founding Father’s vision when they developed the 2nd Amendment Right to Bare Arms.

How does one manage to purchase 1000s of rounds of ammo?  Was it to absolutely eliminate the “herd” somehow, because that is actually what it appeared he was doing.  Those poor people were all sitting ducks- no possible way to defend themselves.  No idea that going to a concert was going to end their life….. And Why is it necessary to have multiple guns?  Do you just look at them in wonder of their “beauty”?  Please help me, and even more so those who were actually affected personally by gun violence to understand why this is necessary.  Why are we not all – every single one of us in America- shouting from our roof tops DEMANDING reform so this doesn’t happen tomorrow or the next day or the next day?  When are we going to stand up and look at this and say It’s Enough?

I’m one mom of two teenagers, who is terrified for their future.  Why do we live here?  It’s scary to think doing day to day things is now a serious question of “is it really worth it to go to a concert, because I may not come back home tonight…..”

My greatest fear is this will once again just be another “mass murder” and nothing, nothing will change because the NRA and gun lobbyist are too influential and in the pockets of our governmental officials, and we as the PEOPLE of this beautiful nation are allowing this to continue.  We are standing up!  We are absolutely demanding that something MORE be done!

It is NOT ok to wait until you are personally affected to say enough is enough…..Vegas….could’ve been me and it could’ve been you or someone you love, so when are you going to say, enough is enough?

I welcome comments.  Please by both sides, help me to understand why owning semi-automatic weapons is necessary and is it important enough for you knowing that others can also obtain them who “might” act this way in the future….. and for those of you who are feeling similar to me, how to we rally up and do something?  Our future generations need us to find a way to make the change…..

If not now…then when?

Peace……

Peace…..and reflections from the Marine Corps Marathon (2nd Edition)

Peace….yes, I feel much more peaceful as the days have passed since I finished the MCM.

Grateful to my friends who helped put my achievement in perspective as being just that, and achievement.  And while I am not content with my finishing time, focusing on that as my “sole” indicator of success seems to be missing the bigger picture.  Thank you to everyone who has helped me to see that again.  It was only a few days that I was off course on my journey towards peace….that’s not too bad, right?

So, reflections….the good, the bad & the ugly.

The “bad & the ugly”, I’ll do first as I don’t want to end on this note.  

• Package pickup.  The only thing I can say was thank God it wasn’t raining.  It was a seemingly endless maze of runners waiting intertwining lines only to pick up your “bib number” and then have to go in another line to get into the expo.  Only to find out that the one item you wanted as a memento and sign of accomplishment, the coveted “finishers jacket” in a beautiful pink with MCM 2013 on the front/back was sold out in every size but XS.  What?  Yes…. after a bit of sulking, and “are you seriously kidding me?”…… we left after purchasing some arm sleeves (which came in handy during the race), throw away gloves, and a runner’s belt for my husband.  Sad.  Frustrated.  But thinking, what can you do?  Life.  2 1/2 hours to pick up one’s bib and new mock-turtle neck running shirt that I’m certain I’ll never wear….but registered and ready to go.
• Music.  I often run sans music, but in a marathon, I have it for back up.  Might be a good idea of I make sure my headphones are working as they literally broke 2 songs into the race, and I was faced with running the entire marathon without tunes to occupy my mind.
• Lost my running friend in race.  Oh where oh where did you go at mile 6?  In the sea of people headed for Gatorade and water, she was lost, and there I was….looking at 20.2 miles alone with just. my. thoughts.  A very scary place.

The Good:  Because it was mostly Good!

• Starting line.  Before the race started, marines jumped out of planes with parachutes (thank goodness) and unraveled American and Marine Corps flags.  The sight was stunning.  Dramatic.  And made me so proud of our beautiful flag and for all that it represents.
• We’re off…. a gigantic cannon, called a howitzer, instead of a starting gun signifies the start of the race.  For all the military buffs out there, this is a very cool way to start a race.
• Crowds! Everywhere.  There were very few parts on the entire course where people were not present.  As a runner, I cannot express my thanks enough for people who get out and cheer us on at races.  For all your “you’re looking great”, when I’m quite certain I do not, or “you’re almost there” when I know I have miles and miles left to finish, or the “keep it up!”….I say thank you.  When I want to quit, I am reminded there are others there who are pushing me to continue.
• Random music of crowd….Many mini-boom boxes were along the course, playing just the sort of music one would want on say, his/her iPod if perhaps the headphones were working (Ok, I’m still a little disturbed by this)….but my absolute favorite was the spontaneous and random rendition of “You are my sunshine” that broke out among runners as we passed under an overpass….I used to sing that to my boys when they were younger and it made me tear up.
• Sights……on course, you run by Georgetown University, several times by the Washington Monument, The Smithsonians, The Capital Building and countless other stunning views/sights along the way.  If I was going to “not” have music or a running buddy on the way, this would be the course to do it because quite frankly, I was distracted most of the way….
• Hand Cyclists….of all the races I’ve run, I’ve never seen as many.  When I wanted to quit, and yes, there were many moments, I would suddenly hear “on your left” and look back so see a soldier who was an amputee doing this very challenging course…. I would then think to myself “I have nothing to complain about and keep on running….” Humbling.
• The Marines…..totally separate category and by far the most memorable part of the race.  From the “yes ma’am” or the uniforms or the American flags EVERYWHERE, it wasn’t lost on anyone present (I’m sure, I didn’t take an official poll on this) how profound the patriotic spirit was for this race.  Two moments stand out in my mind from race day:  (1) Running by photos/bios of soldiers who died in combat, followed by a sea of American Flags that lined the street where we were running…. it was SILENT as we passed by.  SILENT.  Not a person said one work for the half mile or so of this portion of the race.  Nothing. Rather, for me it was a time to reflect, and to remember why we all run.  Because we can.  (2) Receiving medal from a marine, and having him/her salute me and say “good job”…. I was a puddle of tears.  Uncontrollable.  The marines MADE the experience amazing.  I was so proud to be an American, and a marathon runner.

So….as the dust settles this week, I am again proud and peaceful and joyful in the experience.  I got out an ran 2x this week, and signed up for a half marathon in 2 weeks.  And, I found out that I was selected for the Berlin Marathon via the lottery….so I guess my days of running full marathons isn’t over “quite yet”.  Note to self, never make that decision 2 minutes after finishing a race, never, ever a good time to decide…..

Duly noted.

Quote for the day “It’s not so much what happens to us in life that matters, but how we choose to react to it”….. I’ve paraphrased this so I am not exactly sure who coined it. But for me…in reflection of MCM, I think, so I didn’t do my best (or worst), but I did it and now, what can I do to learn and grown and keep on running?

Peace, and Happy Day….

peace……in remembering 9/11

I was debating if I should tackle this subject today, but then thought I’d be remiss if I did not.

It isn’t a milestone anniversary this year, yet it hit me harder than years past.

9/11.

I watched coverage in National Geographic over the weekend with my son, who is now 15.  He was 3 years old when it happened, and has no recollection of the events of the day or days after.

Questions he asked: “Mom, where were you and where was I when this happened? Did you pick me up?  Did you know it was a terrorist attack?”

• We had dropped him off for his first day of preschool.  On that day a milestone for him and our family, the tragic and senseless end for so many others.
• I didn’t pick him up right away.  I sat with a few former co-workers watching the TV, staring in disbelief as the second plane hit tower 2.  The first tower to fall.  The tower in which I would eventually learn one of my college housemates was, and spent her last moments on Earth.
• I did not know it was a terrorist attack.  I think I was so naive 12 years ago, I didn’t even understand the degree to which other people hated the United States and all we stood for as a Nation.   I miss my naivety.

I sat on the couch with our son, and tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. After all the years of coverage, I had never seen people jumping out of the buildings, this year….I did.  Maybe I didn’t want to see it before because the horror of it all is too much to bare.

So how to make peace with something as horrifying as this?

I remember….and choose to focus on the days after.  If only for today we could all remember those feelings of Patriotism, of really connecting with and devoting time and energy on our family and friends and neighbors. If for only today we could remember what’s really important……….while I’d love to live on a beach in Jamaica (as I have written about before)…..in the meantime, isn’t there space to be happy with the many blessings in my life right now?

In choosing to give in to anger and spite, rather than focus on peace and love, terrorists and the evil they stand for, win.  In choosing to remember 9/11 solely based on the atrocities of the event, rather than by the miracle and examples of the beauty of the human spirit, terrorists and the evil they stand for, win.  In living in fear and becoming more distrusting of all the beautiful diverse people who make up our country, rather than celebrating the great diversity in our nation, terrorists and evil they stand for, win.

I refuse to give evil, or the terrorists who carry out evil in our world anymore attention than they’ve already received.  I really don’t want to know about their lives, or their reasons…..evil is evil and attempting to understand it in my eyes is futile.

I remember the American Flags flying high that day and the days after.

I remember the tireless efforts of the brave men & women in the fire departments and law departments gently and with great respect combing through the debris to bring to rest the earthly bodies of those who were lost on 9/11.

I remember the kindness people showed others.

I remember the pride I had and those around me had in being Americans, resilient, strong, and unafraid of those who attempted to destroy all that we stand for as a country.

And I remember Kristi Irvine Ryan’s smile….my college friend who died that day.  I remember more than anything her smile, and the kindness she showed everyone who she met on the campus of University of Dayton.  When I start to feel anger filling my heart as the media barrages us with an endless stream of the tragedy of that day, I will choose to remember her beautiful, gentle spirit and witty sense of humor, and allow peace to enter my heart.

What do you choose to remember?

A few quotes I will think about today…..perhaps I’ve used them before?

“An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.” Mahatma Gandhi.

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” Mother Teresa. 

Two of the most beautiful people who have ever walked on our planet.  Not because they were mighty and wealthy and powerful….rather because they were wise, filled with love, and filled with peace.

Peace and Love today, on 9/11, and always.