Spring. In many parts of the world, this is an anual reminder of the evolving & sometimes subtle nod to the living/breathing example of re-birth, or to begin again for our planet. In Michigan, that can be a nearly daily reminder. As long-time residents can attest, “spring” on the calendar in no way correlates with the actual weather conditions, but rather as a symbol of hope. Hope for tomorrow, and our choice/ability to begin again.
And so this Spring, I am also reminded of our own innate abilities to begin again. Each day. Can you embrace each day with a sense of curiosity, purpose, and gratitude? For what has come before this moment, and what is yet to come? When we begin to let go of what we think is supposed to happen in our life, and embrace the beauty of infinite possibilities, we are beginning to release ourselves from the illusion and often frustrated belief that we actually have control over much in our life. In that awareness, we can open ourselves up to the space of wonder, of inspiration, and intrigue.
A memory emerged over the weekend for me. In it, I was talking with a friend about my “control issues” and was surprised my friend did not see me in the same light. 
What doesn’t outwardly present as a gigantic, blinking neon sign saying “control issues” has presented as an ever-flowing and mostly destructive stream of thoughts going through my head of:
- Are you sure you want to try this?
- You might be really horrible at this, so why try?
- Who do you think you are?
- Who wants to hear your story?
You see it wasn’t in the obvious ways my control would present. I have seldom had a strong opinion on where we would go to eat or what movie to see or what color throw pillows needed to be out for whatever holiday or season or how to fold the towels “correctly”…..rather my control issues were more focused on my desire to control my image, both personally and professionally. While I have long had a desire & toyed with the idea of writing a book, I have long envisioned myself doing so after I had it all “figured out”…… A sort of how-to book of:
- See what a peaceful, grounded, happy person I have become!
- Look at my obstacle in life! Look what I’ve overcome!
In the stillness of the night, I would think…. yes! Perfect! I got through all of that and really didn’t have to do the inner work for peace & healing…. as long as I control the outside package, no one will ever know what’s going on in the inside. Even I so desperately wanted a short cut for life. Get me to the really good stuff and please allow me to skip the uncomfortable and painful stuff.
Truth is, I’m in the game right along with every single one of your reading this blog. I am practicing, I am learning, and growing each and every day I am here. Just like Spring in Michigan, as we blink our eyes open, we are often met with the opportunity of scraping the ice & snow from around our hearts & minds & unearthing that primal desire/need to begin…again…..
I’ve learned in my own journey….we don’t have to do “it” perfectly. Rather, we have to do “it”….whatever “it” is…. And if we fail greatly in our efforts, at least we are out there attempting to make our own mark, plant our own garden, leave this world perhaps a little better off than when we arrived.
With great apology I tell my 20something year old self, I do not have it figured out yet! And Yay! To my 20something year old, I don’t have it all figured out yet! As long as we are here, we continue to have the opportunity to expand and grow. We continue to have the opportunity to look at our life as continuous reminders of opportunities to shift and change and learn. If snow or ice fall on your garden party of life, instead of cursing the unpredictability that Mother Nature can often display, we can choose to soften- to seek out others to help you come up with another plan or to reflect on the lessons failing (Yes! even failing!) can teach us.
May you find peace in your day, and courage to plant your own garden & seize each day as an opportunity to begin…again……
peaceinthejourney 