“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a kind smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia
I so loved him. What a brilliant man.
I’ve taken a break from writing/blogging. Consciously. I really, really missed it. It was hard to not have a place to put down my thoughts….
Ever have the experience of “hearing” something and wishing you could “unhear it?”
In clinical practice, I have learned to be able to be present with clients when I’m in session, but out of professional necessity, when I’m away from clients I need to put their problems “away” to focus on someone else, or perhaps my own family (or dare I say SELF) for once. I say, sorta in jest…..
Over the past few weeks, however, I’ve had more family/friend “stuff”, sad news from others, and realized, the clinical practice I utilize with clients, doesn’t work so well with family and friends. No, this is not my first rodeo, I understand this intellectually, but this past week, the “life overload” just kinda hit me…….I realized I am unable to just neatly put away on a shelf friends/family stuff and consciously not think about it. My heart aches for others who are really struggling right now for a myriad of reasons, and I just wish I could help, but know my role is to just listen…..
I’ve been really blessed lately to have some particularly supportive people encouraging me to keep writing, to find my focus, and “plan” what I want to eventually do with my writing. Sometimes I’m really, really good with planning. Like in marathon training, I excel…or maybe survive is a better term at some points….with a plan. However, in other areas, I do find that I wander a bit in a place of not knowing…..I admit it. But I’m starting to understand the difficulty in knowing my “plan” has more to do with my desire to chart my own course, so naturally….there is no plan. My plan is my un-plan. Shockingly…that is not a word, yes, I am stating it before someone corrects me….
I do have some ideas. I’m starting…to find the path I’ve started, leading to wherever un-chartered territory I’m meant to go…..
So the question keeps arising in my head…why do I write? Why is it important that I write- and in a public forum- on my journey with peace? Here are my honest, unfiltered thoughts….
I would like to think if people describe me, they’d say I’m peaceful and calm and compassionate, not necessarily in that order but among the adjectives to describe me I hope that at least one of those words would be on the list. I hope that is how I appear, as for the most part that is how I feel. However, I didn’t always feel that way. When I was a teenager and a young adult (ugh…I’m no longer a young adult…but that’s another story. laughing, a little) I was depressed and felt “less than” and lonely and lost. I sought comfort in ways that I, in my adult self, find unsettling. I remember feeling like I was the-only-person-who-felt-like-I-did-in-the-world. There is really no worse feeling, feeling like you’re the only one. So when I started blogging…I wanted more than anything to show that honestly through my writing, to show while I’m in a much better space than I once was, I really, really remember the feel of darkness, the taste of despair, the sound of sorrow….I remember. Perhaps it makes me more empathic as a therapist, it isn’t something I share with clients, but perhaps it is something they can sense (I hope) in my genuine approach to therapy.
So why do I write? Maybe if I can reach one other person today who is having a rough day to know that I’ve been there…and I work at finding peace just. like. everyone. else. Daily……
Today, my journey started with getting my 2 favorite boys off to school. Days like this are fleeting…I cherish each moment when I remember to remind myself how old they’re getting and one day they will be off on their own. Gulp. Making my absolute favorite Island Green Smoothie. Yum. Going to Yoga with an incredibly talented and gentle spirit of a yoga teacher. A short run with the wonder Dog Layla. The BEST! And a walk outside in nature……sigh……
I could’ve curled up in a ball and felt bleak and helpless in thinking about my friends/family who are really struggling right now, but instead, I focused on being the healthiest/most positive self I can be, and remembered sometimes all people really need when they’re going through hardships is to know…they aren’t alone…..and to know when they need it, there is someone on this earth who will listen….I feel grateful when I re-direct my “knowing/hearing” overload as something less a burden and more an honor and privilege.
I can’t “fix” my friends/family problems. As soon as I remembered this, the “life overload” began to lift. I remembered that sad teenager/young adult whom once I was, and know if I felt like I had someone else who was there to just “listen” and not attempt to “fix” my problems, perhaps I would’ve not felt so alone. Perhaps it wouldn’t have taken me years and years to find my way to the peaceful, calm, compassionate self I now fancy myself to be.
So to all those struggling out there today/tonight….know you are not alone…for if you have read this blog, know I”m thinking about you and wishing you great peace in love.
Today…that is my purpose in writing…..
One of my favorite songs….hope you enjoy…..
Peace…….
peaceinthejourney 