“Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you’ve got.” Jim Rohn.
I dislike New Year’s Resolutions. Trite. Short lived. Easily broken. I rarely even consider them.
So I hesitate to call my most recent decisions to make some changes in my life as “New Year’s Resolutions” (even though that is when I decided to actually implement them) and rather view them as necessary changes in my mind/body/spirit that have taken me a lifetime (not just a few moments at the stroke of midnight) to decide to do…..that happened to coincide with New Year’s.
I recently “re-took” the Myers Briggs personality test and was less than shocked to find out that I am (according to this test) INFJ personality type. Introverted. Intuitive. Feeling. Judging. None is surprising. Scoring highest in being “introverted and feeling” categories (no surprise). Less than 1% of those who take it are INFJ’s. That I find shocking since I know several others who fell into the same category. Coincidence? Hmmm……
What surprised me more was my reaction to the results and my acknowledgment of my long-term struggle with wanting to be “other than” the results. While many are surprised to learn I am introverted, according to the test and I can attest, I am most certainly. While I am in the position to speak in front of others on occasion, I would most preferably not.
I would like to have a shut off valve for my intuition as there are times “not knowing” would be so much easier. It’s a sinking, unsettling experience at times I’d rather not have. Maybe I’d be a good crime solver?
I read “INFJ’s take great care of other people’s feelings and expect others to return the favor.” Feeling. Perhaps something that makes me effective in my job? Perhaps. I remember my Mom telling me years ago, “you set very high standards for people, and when they fail to meet your standards, you’re disappointed.” Maybe she meant “unrealistic”? Ouch. Sensitive. Vulnerable. Leading to potential stress…..
Judging. Decisive…prefer clear rules and guidelines. Decisive, I’m not sure I agree. But I do exist best with clear and definitive guidelines and expectations and troubled when I don’t have that as my gauge.
What I’m troubled about in accepting who I am has much to do with in some ways, wishing I was different. Wondering what it would be like to be extroverted or thinking or sensing or prospecting. Wonder what that’s like?
Seems futile, for our personality traits are as innate within us as our fingerprints. Just part of who we are. And unlike my hair color, ever-changing with the season or a whim, who I am is just that…who I am.
So what does all this have to do with my “non-New Year’s Resolutions” anyway?
This year, I’m committing to a greater sense of peace and acceptance of who I am, personality traits and all, by this profound and well-known quote as my focal point for reflection:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr.
Accept the things I cannot change. My personality. “Be who you are and say how you feel, for those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Dr. Seuss. One of my all time favorites.
Courage to change the things I can. Through running, yoga, meditation, practicing of faith and my new-found appreciation for juicing (sure to be a blog topic at a later date), and concentration on being the healthiest in mind/body and spirit I can be. End of story.
And the wisdom to know the difference. My New Year….will be an exploration on this…the wisdom to know what I can, and cannot change…..and the strength to make the decisions to change something in my life, even if I’m scared to do it.
There is a sense of peace in joy in having a plan, being ok with my feelings even if I don’t know exactly where the plan is taking me. That seems like progress on pushing myself out of my “INFJ” personality trait already! (smiling….)
Peace…
peaceinthejourney 