Mind Body Syndrome & the Highly Sensitive Person- exploring the connection

Cooler weather brings more mats in the yoga space, more mats brings more students, more students brings more distraction.  My natural set point of having an overly active/wandering mind has been in overdrive.  Even for me.  Thus, even the holding of Warrior 2, a pose I see at nearly every yoga practice, feels unbearable.  I twitch, move around, try counter poses sorta hoping no one else notices my fidgeting, desperately wanting to get out of the pain that resides in my body.  Not the typical aches/discomfort that begets a nearly 50 year old body, but the pain that I now know originates when my brain gets in this cycle (cue, MBS or also known as TMS….I’ve discussed this cycle in the past writings) but the reminders of  “be with your breath. Be present” that makes so much sense to me, right in this moment feels like the teacher is speaking greek & I…. quite certainly do not.

Mind Body Syndrome or formerly known as TMS: Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS) is a psychological condition that causes physical symptoms, such as chronic back pain, fibromyalgia, and gastrointestinal problems. The symptoms are not caused by any other medical conditions and are often unexplainable.

While it’s great to have a name to this “unexplainable” syndrome, the “cure” of it is no more under control for me than it was when I first learned about it a few years ago.  I have the tools, I have the information, I have techniques, and at times I am really able to accept it. There is hope in the experience of time, albeit brief, of being nearly pain free.  But mostly, I am still learning to accept and reprogram the faulting “danger” messages looping around in my brain, causing me to have shooting pain in my hip flexor (used to be piriformis, MBS/TMS is characterized by pain moving around from place to place) causing me to lose sleep again, and challenges my ability to sit without discomfort or do poses in yoga that I have been able to do in the past, or run… any distances….without pain.

Yoga has felt like a blur lately.  I show up.  I sit at the top of my mat when class begins, and I quickly close my eyes as to try to turn my thoughts inwards instead of focusing on the myriad of distractions in class.  Difficult part is this technique helps when I am less in this MBS loop, and what can calm my inner thoughts other times, only exacerbates the MBS symptoms when I am in the cycle.  My inward landscape is a labyrinth of thoughts & emotions, most of which I keep to myself.  And so the question comes to me, how do we teach ourselves and others to sit with discomfort and accept that balance of sitting with it without overly identifying with it so that it overstays its welcome?

I’ve been “sitting with” this for at least 10 years, though to varying degrees I am certain I have been “sitting with” this for most of my life.  Writing that, and acknowledging this cycle, feels overwhelming. Being born or molded into a HSP (or highly sensitive person as a former friend once illuminated my understanding of my being) has a concerning flaw in its design.  Not only do we pick up/take on emotions of those around us, but also avoid speaking one’s own truth or push down feelings/emotions to protect or not worry those around us.  Then, to add insult to injury, the fault of “being too sensitive” is often placed squarely on the HSP rather than those around who aren’t caring or attune enough to see that pattern taking form.  While it is something I have been working on in my life, it isn’t perfect by any means and at times, when I am overwhelmed, it isn’t something I can control or see happening…until it’s too late and I’m in this cycle all over again.

In a clinical setting, I often discuss with clients the tragic flaw with this seemingly sensitive and pleasant personality trait.  When you defer consistently to the other’s happiness, by pushing down your thoughts or feelings, you are then the one person in the room who is left feeling unhappy or at a minimum unheard.

I so wanted to have this all figured out and be on the other side saying “yeah, that was me, and I figured out a way to peace and contentment by doing A-B-C”….. I wanted that to be my story or my timeline.  But in trusting my journey…. I am choosing to speak along the way, and hope there is value in my vulnerability of acknowledging I do not have it all figured out.  I am trying.

I have been this person described above my entire life.  Quiet and introverted and sensitive- all traits I am both proud of and embrace, yet frustrate me. Growing up, they certainly made me different and awkward.  As an adult, the traits make me really great as a therapist, and hopefully pretty advantageous as a mom, but the spiral of dysfunction can go off the rails beyond those settings. While this is in no way meant to be a pity party for me or anyone who both is HSP or has MBS, if that is where you, the reader, think I am going with this I am story, sorry to disappoint.  My writing is more to help others understand, how we who fall into these areas function.  For those of you who may love someone, or know someone who is HSP or who has MBS, I hope you can take to heart your own responsibility for how you interact with those people. Yes, you can help.  And can hurt.

1. 1.  Ask questions. how has your pain been?  What can I do to help?  Tell me about the ways that you are able to relax and accept your pain & when it has been less for you.
   2. Never, ever, ever, say someone who is HSP is “overly sensitive.”  Would you prefer those of us who are HSP to refer to you as being “void of sensitivity” or a “heartless a-hole?” Of course not, that’d be unkind.  So please have some compassion for those of us who are trying to have that same sense of compassion for ourselves & this often-problematic trait.  
   3. Understand the physical pain we feel is real, and even though we “look” ok on the outside, doesn’t mean the pain isn’t real and possibly excruciating at times.  The physical sensation of pain MUST always come from the brain.  ALWAYS. But with MBS, there is no physiological explanation for the pain existing.  It doesn’t make the pain any less real.  It actually makes it even more frustrating because there is no easy/quick fix. 
   4. Know there is help out there for anyone diagnosed with MBS, specifically.  For more information on this diagnosis and treatment available…. www.unlearnyourpain.com

 

Wishing all who read this today- or in the future- peace in your journey.