Sure…in our 40s we are no longer starving college students so we may try….but there are certain things money cannot buy.
I spent a weekend in Chicago with my sorority sisters, 2 of whom I haven’t seen since I was in college 20+ years ago. 20+ years, how is that possible?
There was reminiscing of the days (and nights) at University of Dayton, and post college/early 20s years, and the where did the time go?
There was shopping, overly priced cocktails and craft brews, indulgent meals, walk/jog by Navy Pier & along Lakeshore drive, and the obligatory photo-op with the “bean.”
While I loved! loved! loved! all of the “what” we did, it was more the conversations and the support that was given and received that left me thinking….wow….I am blessed to be in my 40s.
While my days in college were filled with classes and working minimal hours at the local daycare center and spending most of my time with friends, what they weren’t filled with was deep conversations or the feeling that I had support (or probably that I was giving support) on any deep level. While we busy our time so much during those years trying to figure out who we are, we are left with very little time to acutely observe the lives of the people around us.
In our 40s, we are often facing the reality of aging parents, physical or emotion illness of ourselves or others we love, financial triumphs and far too often struggles, challenges of parenting, insecurities with our weight and the aging process, failed or floundering marriages, and a myriad of other very real and difficult life issues….we are also equally blessed with a greater sense of who we are, and who we want to be. We are not as consumed with finding ourselves, and rather able to stop and look at our friends and family around us and take a moment (or many) to support and comfort them.
While together, we did share some of our struggles, both now and when we were back in college. Back in the day, I had no idea anyone else was struggling but me. I never stopped to ask, and certainly would never have shared my personal pain with anyone…..so how would I know? The only difference between living life in my 40s and then, is I’ve taken the time to be there for my friends and step away from myself as often as I can. I learned the art of giving and receiving friendship. Leaning and being the rock. Talking and listening. Being vulnerable and being non judgmental.
So when people talk about wanting to go back to the days of college, I think to myself for a moment, yep! Sign me up! But then I remember this weekend and think NO WAY! While I loved every single moment of college, I am happy to be right where I am now. Complications of life and all, there is something supremely rich and beautiful about the depth of friendships I now have in my life. It’s in the depth of the sorrows and joy I feel true friendships emerge.
While on Facebook today, I noticed a flurry of posts in support of a mom from my children’s school who is facing breast cancer. My heart is warmed knowing no matter what, this lovely woman has a circle of friends praying for and supporting her. When she may be feeling weak, they will be strong. I have no doubt she has done the same for another friend before, and hopefully will have that opportunity going forward. That is what makes true friendship so beautiful…it isn’t being there for when times are fun and easy, it’s the standing by and supporting one another through the storms of life.
I may have used this song before, but it’s worth repeating…..may be I should start keeping a log? This was the song we had as our last song, for our last gathering, before graduation with my sorority sisters….better known as my friends who happened to all be in a group with me. True friends…….are friends forever……
peaceinthejourney 