Holiday season. Also known as the time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day. For many religions and cultures, this is a time not only of celebrating secular holidays, it is also a time of high holy days met with great anticipation and preparation. For Christians, it’s a time readying ourselves to celebrate the memory of the birth of Jesus Christ. When one looks to the meaning behind Jesus’ taking on human form in the world, the underlying theme consistently is to bring peace to the world. PEACE!!!! So why is this time anything but for so many of us? It seems so counterintuitive for what so many of us (if you celebrate the religious meaning behind Christmas) are preparing ourselves for this Advent Season.
“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.” ~ George Carlin.
(I am not even sure I needed to include his name, doesn’t it sound like something he’d say?)
Irreverent as the quote is, how true are those words? We cannot find peace by force, by stress, by busying ourselves to a state of exhaustion. Be honest, we have all tried to do that over the holidays, and I’m pretty sure your experience is something like mine where I’ve found myself irritable and not enjoying the magic and beauty of the season.
Wouldn’t we all like to enjoy the holidays just a little bit more?
Here are 5 simple ways to de-stress, perhaps just a little, to enjoy what is left of this holiday season.
1. Prioritize. Your time. Attend the parties and engagements you want to, and politely decline those you do not want to go to. Yes. I am giving you permission to do so. We cannot be in more than one place at a time, and if feeling like you are competing to get some “I’m the busiest person this holiday season” prize is going to make you feel more of an in-the-holiday-spirit-person, I assure you it will not. Wouldn’t it be great to truly be in the moment with the ones you love and cherish just a little bit longer this holiday season rather than rushing to be with the ones you feel obligated to be with because of some assumed expectation? We are all busy, but we do have the choice to let go just a little…greater sense of peace will be your prize.
2. Let go of Efl of the Shelf Expectations. Let me ask you…who came up with this ridiculous “tradition” (I use the word “tradition” loosely.) I am so thankful my kids were slightly too old for this when it first surfaced, and I understand the person who invented it is now a multimillionaire, but really, did we all need some additional stress during the holidays? Was it not enough to tell our kids “Santa is watching so you better be good?” Oh no! Someone decided, I”m sure in her (or perhaps his, probably her) overachieving mind that we now need an additional spy for Santa in our homes to keep track of our kids and report to Santa if they’re behaving. And while we’re at it, we might as well come up with scenarios this said elf gets into EVERY-SINGLE-NIGHT! Seriously, I am so sorry for anyone who feels stressed by this “tradition” and perhaps is missing out on really being with your children, or getting ready for your next work day, or perhaps catching up on some mindless tv because you need to come up with yet another clever scenario to pose your adopted elf in before the kids wake. Now….if you truly truly love this “tradition”…more power to you. But if like many (and trust me, I read your Facebook posts) you find this additionally stressful, I ask you this…..is this truly adding to the meaning of Christmas for you, or perhaps are you doing this because you feel obligated to keep up with the expectations of others? If so…I give you permission to let it go! Perhaps by doing so…instead of new “wacky” posed elf, a greater sense of peace will be what you wake up to in the morning.
3. Celebrate imperfections. Back in the day….(I just love writing that…it makes me sound really, really old) I remember Christmas at my Polish grandparents house all crammed into the unfinished part of their basement. With a hodgepodge of chairs, all around a covered pool table with clothes handing around us, and the washer and dryer used as a buffet table….we would gather together of what I still remember as the best Christmas’ of my life. There were no fancy coordinated table cloths/napkins/and runners. There were no gourmet/free range/fancy turkeys or dishes. There were no elaborate centerpieces. But what there was love. And family. And in the imperfection of the table and the meal, there was beautiful perfection of the Christmas season. So I encourage you to celebrate the crooked/smashed bows on the presents, the slightly over or under done cookies with messy but deliciously indulgent icings, the kids who look slightly disheveled rather than carefully coordinated J-crew models. Perhaps by letting go of the expectation that Christmas (or whatever holiday you are celebrating) needs to be PERFECT, you will find beauty in the imperfections…..
4. Give. From your wallet. From your time. From your heart. I worked for a charity for the majority of my career, and if I can impress anything this holiday season, it’s these two truths…..(1) Charities ALWAYS need money. And this…it’s a secret……shhh….(2) Doing charity work will ALWAYS do more good for you than any charity you help. ALWAYS. There is something so gratifying and freeing to be able to, even if for a few, escape our own problems and give our time, money, talents, and heart to others in need. Start big or small, but start this holiday season in giving the best gift you can for your family, instilling the value of charity.
5. 5? Hmmmmm…..oh well, I think I’m giving myself the gift of NOT stressing out and coming up with a 5th. Perhaps it’ll give me time to enjoy and prepare and peacefully transition from Advent to Christmas season?
“Holidays are about experiences and people, and tuning into what you feel like doing at that moment. Enjoy not having to look at a watch.” Evelyn Glennie.
Peace……
peaceinthejourney 