View from the back of the pack. A half marathon story…..

Have you ever attended a race and cheered runners/walkers on from the sidelines?

I’ve been on both sides.  A runner and a spectator.

As a runner, I’m sadly one of the mid-packers at best.  Depending on how disciplined I’ve been, and how cooperative my leg is being (more specifically, how much or how little my piriformis is acting up), I’m either a mid-pack runner, or one of the plodders near the back just trying desperately to finish and wondering often out loud why I decided to sign up for another race.

“Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is optional.” Haruki Murakami

I’ve also been to many races and cheered on other runners/walkers.  Whether cheering on my husband in a race, or riding our bikes around to see runners in a local run, I’m endlessly amazed at the courage and strength of all runners and walkers.  I am in awe at the seemingly effortless stride elite runners display, whether on mile 1 or mile 26.2 (I haven’t watched an ultra yet…)….their pace, their stride, their calm facial expression….all seems constant.  Impressive.  Yet….to me there is something equally yet differently amazing about those runners/walkers who are striving to be mid packers at best, and often times struggling to just. make. it. to. the. finish. line. 

This past weekend I ran Dexter to Ann Arbor half marathon as a training run for the Berlin marathon, scheduled this fall.  I was under trained, and not prepared to run the never-ending route of hills in 80 degree temps.  But the beauty, twisted as it might be, of running a race that drops you off at the finish…there is no other way to get to the finish line than to just. keep. swimming.  I mean running. 

So what’s it like running mid pack at best?  Good and Bad.

Spectators:  sometimes….are less than enthusiastic by the time the slower runners emerge from the depths of a course.  Advice….if you commit to go to a race, if you are able, stay the entire time.  As someone who has struggled to finish a race, believe me when I say your “You’re doing awesome” even when I don’t feel like it is oh so sweet a song.  Thank you to those who stay until the last courageous soul passes you on the course.  It may be his or her first/last race.  Make it awesome for him/her!

Stories: yes, when you are plodding along, there are often so many stories swapped.  The: How did you start running?  How long have you been in recovery?  What injury are you currently dealing with this season?  What’s your next race?  What’s the best medal?  Who is here to cheer you on today?  What time did you get up today?  Why do you keep signing up for races?   Who told you that you weren’t good enough?  I love it.  It’s a seamless transition for me from my work life (as a therapist) to my running life…I am endlessly curious about “the stories” of why people run, and more importantly, why they continue to run.  Perhaps if I was an elite, I’d never learn all of these stories on my run, for my focus may be different.  Don’t get me wrong, I’d love the opportunity to be an elite, or a front of the pack runner, or in corral A or B or somewhere above H….but I’m able to run…and above all else, I’m grateful.

View from the back: Shirts.  Quotes of motivation.  Bible passages.  Names of runners.  Reasons why he/she is running.  Costumes.  Runners dressed in full on military or this year firefighter gear.  Yes…that is where we are all hiding.  Many of us mid-packers at best are running for many reasons ‘beyond’ the race, and often times, when you’re in the back…you have many, many miles to read (on the back of runners shirts) the who/what/why people are running.

I leave with one last quote…

This is a thought to ponder that sums up why I run.  When I started running 9 years ago, I was an ocassional gym attendee at best.  I did my workouts on my own, and didn’t feel like I was particularly athletic.  Something, and I don’t know what clicked in me, and I decided to just start running.  A block.  A couple of blocks.  A couple of miles…and now marathons.  My childhood/teenage/young adult self would NEVER have believed that was possible.  Now….not only do I have a great group of friends I refer to as my “running friends” but each race I do, I meet new people who are often just like me…running to be a bit better person than we were the moment we started the race.  In the mid or back of the pack (and ok, front runners…”maybe” you have this too….I say with a smile)….

“The reason we race isn’t to beat each other, it’s to be with each other.” Christopher McDougall.

Peace…..

peace…..and get it together man! (or woman)

My mind has been all over the place for the past few days, wondering my own path or direction in life and no sooner than I start down this convoluted path, I am reminded I am never alone….for God is right there by my side and guiding me when I feel lost. I have received several poignant reminders this week, and I’m grateful….

I try to embark this philosophy or spiritual belief on others, in my personal life (ESPECIALLY with my family) and with clients, without coming off as all-knowing or a holy roller because on both accounts I am not!  Not even close.  But when I think of hardships or struggles in life, I think Oh MY Gosh, I am so happy I have faith because I’m not sure I could do it alone!  Believing there is some greater purpose in all of our hardships, sorrows, struggles, grief, and pain helps me to focus beyond myself and see the bigger picture.

I want to be a faster runner.  I not so secretly wish I was a Boston Qualifier/Finisher runner like my husband and my best friend, but sadly I am not.  Does that make me stop running and give up my dream all together “just because I am not a Boston Qualifier/Finisher” runner, yet?  NO way!  Looking at the purpose in all that happens to us in life supports my belief that perhaps there is a greater reason and lesson for me to understand or learn in being a mid packer at best?

This past week I received a very kind email from a reader of my blog, whom I’ve never met, saying “you told my story” in essence in reference to my struggle in the last marathon.  While my heart sank to know another struggles with pain and wanting to do better in something he/she loves, I am proud that my disclosure of my own struggles helps another to know he/she is not alone.

One of my favorite quotes, perhaps I’ve written before, reads “nothing great is ever achieved without much enduring”.…. the motto from my sorority days….Go Theta Phi Alpha at University of Dayton…At the time I didn’t understand the meaning behind those words like to do today (many, many years later…sigh….) Nothing great, nothing that matters really in our life, comes without word.  Period.  How I wish that I had a magic wand to make things all better for others, or how I wish that life was just easy…but it isn’t.  And no matter how much I want it to be that way, simply wanting it to be different from it is does nothing to change that reality.  Nothing.

When I look at my kids and they’re struggling in school to get the grades they want to have…I want them to remember those words.

When I look at my kids and they’re upset because something they want in life isn’t coming easy….I want them to remember those words.

When I look at my kids and there is a problem I cannot fix because they’ve growing up too gosh darn quickly…..I want them to remember those words….

It isn’t what happens in life that matters as much as how we choose to respond to it.

Today is the only time you get to experience today…what are you going to do with it?

Peace and Go out and live the life you’ve been dreaming of and Never, ever let anything stand in the way of your dreams.