Exploring your true self for the answers….

This is not a pity party…..

For 8+ years I have lived each day with chronic pain, specifically piriformis syndrome.  I have written several times about it, not only explaining how the syndrome presents (literally a pain in the a–), but more specifically how to cope with chronic pain.  Today, my perspective changed….

I understand most cannot imagine what it is like to live with chronic pain.  I understand if you look at me, it is easy to assume because I don’t look “sick” or look like I’m “hurting”, it would be easy to assume that may be it has ceased? However, as I embarked today on yet another chapter in my journey towards finding “peace in my journey” with my pain…I realized somehow, like many of you reading, I have accepted this “pain” (for some of you, the “pain” may represent something entirely differently….. issues with family members, illness, financial issues, etc.) and have found the coping skills to accept the pain as just part of who I am.  I have adapted many aspects of my life, especially the depth to which I am able to continue my distance running, in relation to how much pain I am in or how much effort I am able to put into addressing the said pain.

But today…. something clicked for me.  Perhaps it isn’t about doing more, it’s about doing less?

I have, in no particular order, done the following in attempt to alleviate my pain.

 

• High dose anti-inflammatory injections- temporary partial relief
• Physical therapy- very little relief
• Active release technique – see above
• Epidurals – nothing!  Stopped at 2/3 doses because no effect
• Chiropractic- nothing
• Acupuncture- some relief
• Deep Tissue Massage – some relief
• Essential Oils- some relief to calm and soothe pain
• Many, many, many doses of motrin – awful for liver, and temporary relief
• Muscle relaxers- momentary relief and cannot function on this
• Pain killers (brief stint…scary road to go down for me) – don’t get me started
• Gave up running (for nearly a year)- awful.  awful.  awful.  no impact and miss terribly.
• Yoga (on going) – helps in mind, body, and spirit
• Surgeon to explore surgery options- thank goodness he said no way!
• Sports medicine doctor- did epidural – no relief
• Foam Rolling – on going…. no results yet
• Nutrition counseling to address inflammation issues (new, ongoing) – tba
• Elimination Gluten/dairy (inflammation issues- new, ongoing) -tba
• Stretches (on going)- see foam rolling
• Guided Meditation- helps to take mind to another place for a few moments
• Brainspotting – yes….some relief.  www.brainspotting.pro
• EFT – continuing to explore, nothing yet….
• Gong Meditation – interesting…. some sensation, still pursuing
• Sat on tennis ball (yes, sometimes I do this) – awkward.
• Cranial Sacral Therapy (new….. )   – verdict still out

So Cranial Sacral therapy is the newest, and one I am sure most haven’t heard of www.craniosacraltherapy.org and a considerable amount who read this may not subscribe to the concept.  However, look at my list…. can anyone who reads this honestly tell me that I haven’t given Western medicine a chance at helping me live a life pain free?

Perhaps it isn’t about physically releasing the pain, but acknowledging the pain, thanking the pain for giving me the information (to be determined what that is) so that I can address issues in my life that may be I’ve been ignoring?  Not prioritizing?  Procrastinating?  Missing?

The practitioner asked me “who takes care of you?” Gulp.  As a mom, who is also a therapist, I am ever present in this role.  With my immediate family, extended family, friends, and clients…and while I LOVE that I am, and feel blessed that others trust me with sometimes very personal and difficult situations, I am becoming cognizant of my own neglect in making sure I put myself first, so that I can do what I love, nurture and minister to others…..

I preach it. DAILY!  I do mean daily.  But hearing this message several times over the past few weeks, in conjunction with the connection of my chronic pain that is seemingly stumping western medicine docs (I read recently it typically lasts up to 3-4 months.  I nearly fell over, as mine has been over 8 years!), I am committed to fully embracing all that is quirky, all that is spiritual in nature, all that is “non-western” and addressing the connection of the mind/body/ and spirit in relation to my physical health.  I feel empowered!  Truly it is a strange, unknown, deep pool of OH MY GOD what am I doing but somewhere I feel like it is EXACTLY where I need to be.

(Not me…but how I feel)

 

So my parting message today…. be open in your path towards peace, as your journey may take you not where you plan, but exactly where you are meant to be.

Peace…..