At the risk of sounding completely self-centered and possibly narcissistic, this blog is inspired by me, and my turning yet another year older, creeping ever so slowly yet systematically so towards what is typically regarded as “mid-life”…..how is that possible?
Where does the time go?
I’ve been blessed to inherit by marriage this spunky now nearly 93-year-old woman named, Gloria, my grandmother in law. Also known as “Grandma White hair”. I’m fascinated listening to her describe days of her youth, growing up in the Great Depression, and the seemingly countless days that have filled her life both beautiful and magnificent and incredibly painful. I love her perspective, seeing “time” through the eyes of someone nearly a century old. She’d probably be so mad at me for even suggesting she’s closing in on 100 years but really……it’s amazing. And with all of the years she has been on this Earth, she describes her life so similarly as I do……wondering where all the time goes?
There are days when we’re young, perhaps in anticipation for summer break or Christmas or our birthday…..the clock ticks by ever so slowly almost stopping in time and space. Others still, somewhat blurred together in and ever revolving sea of moments and memories and events. In the moment, I confess, far too often I’ve been so wrapped up in the gruesome details of day-to-day that I’ve allowed myself to not truly be present in my own life. Looking back, it almost seemed selfish in my mind to stop and allow myself to truly be present, when there were countless others who required my attention or my care or my listening ear or…….. and then Wowzas! Where has all the time gone?
With the support of some really precious and beautiful people in my life, I’m aspiring to be more present, and learning to say “no” to the superfluous that is more out of a desire to please others than truly making me happy. Closing in on midlife, and it’s only now that I’m learning to do this….Sigh…..but as I tell clients (all-the-time)….it’s imperative for us to take care of ourselves first, so we can truly be there for others…..Maybe I should take my own advice?
When I’m almost 93, will it matter if
- My Tupperware is all organized in my cabinet?
- My socks are all matched up in my drawers?
- I’ve attended every obligatory charity event I’m invited to attend?
- I’ve gone to every “house party” aka strong sell for the latest home cleaning or cooking speciality items?
- Up to date on what’s happening with celebrities, royals or politicians?
- Current with the latest trendy television series?
- I’ve actually looked at every single one of my kid’s assignments from this school year (or year’s past)?
While I understand the above might add organization or social relevance to my life, to me I’d rather spend the next “x” number of years doing:
- Walking more with Layla the Wonderdog
- Watching the sunset
- Taking cooking classes
- Running
- Conquering my fear of inversions in yoga
- Spending time with people who add peace to my life, rather than chaos
- Cherishing time with my family and friends. Cherishing….you know what I mean? Really cherishing……
- Doing more because I want to, and less because I feel like I “have to”
When we are nearing her end of our life, whenever that is, what’s more important, the number of days in our life, or the life we have in our days?
Wanna join me? Be more present in the present? Instead of watching life go by, want to be fully, actively, completely part of life?
The older I become, the more I realize time and space co-mingle and overlap far more than have distinct and finite aspects.
How do I have a 17-year-old son?
How is Layla the Wonderdog almost 4?
How have I lived in my current house for almost 13 years?
Wasn’t I just 21? or 30? How am I almost 44?
Where does the time go?
Peace…….
peaceinthejourney 